Old men big dicks

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Beware of the scorned ex-girlfriend, ye men of small penises! Jon Gosselin's ex, Hailey Glassman, got back at him by telling the whole world what Kate Gosselin already knew: that Jon's penis was "tiny, tiny, tiny!

Although, Kate was slightly more generous when she referred to her ex's penis as "stubby. According to sources , Daniel Craig used a penis body double for his nude scenes in Casino Royale!

Did his real-life teenie-weenie not measure up to the "James Bond" ideal? Jessica Simpson's virginity pledge may not have been worth the wait, as Nick Lachey's small penis evidently did not impress the singer on their wedding night.

Geez, Jessica, we hope your new husband, Eric Johnson , is more well-endowed. So Jordan took a breath, carefully unbuttoned his pants, and pulled out his penis.

The audience erupted, delighted to catch a front-row glimpse of the biggest penis in Newcastle. It was a legendary penis in the North East England town, and its owner had become a quasi-celebrity because of it.

In his 20s, Jordan ate up the attention, showing off his super-sized schlong to whoever wanted to see it—and as rumors spread, his crowds ballooned.

But Jordan was now pushing 40, and the novelty of being a carnival attraction had long worn off. Desperate to get on with the night, he instinctively swung his big penis around like a piece of rope—the usual act—and stuffed it back into his briefs.

The show was over. Or so he thought. Whatever will shut him up. But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it.

Jordan fell down and sprinted home. Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle.

Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter. Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon —himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3. Steixner says. Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog. She was more concerned that I had stained one of the good hands towels.

It also triggered a chain reaction, and they both spent the rest of the night in the bathroom. His dick was almost 9 inches and thick.

Neither of us had condoms or lube, so we foolishly just used spit. A few minutes later, he finished and pulled out. That's when I noticed the bloody, shitty jizz that was dripping off his dick and down my legs.

We didn't bring anything to clean up with, so we used my underwear. He thanked me and took off. I went to Walmart a few blocks away, bought new shorts and underwear, and changed in the restroom.

When I got home, my mom complimented me on my new shorts. Rather than chickening out, I grabbed the lube and attempted to make it fit.

I had to have an episiotomy, which meant stitches from my vagina to my ass. He started puking all down my back, and it ran into my hair, eyes, his bed, and the floor.

His sister knocked on the door to see what was going on. He ran into the bathroom while I, still covered in poop and puke, tried to put on my clothes.

It was impossible to leave with any dignity. I was too scared to have penetrative sex with him, so we always stuck to oral.

One night, I was going down on him and decided I wanted to try to deep-throat. His penis jerked and I got scared and bit him really hard.

His dick started bleeding and he got really freaked out and made me bring him to the hospital. Everything turned out fine.

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Nonsense, they said, as they formed an ironclad circle around Jordan to protect him. He had found himself in this situation so many times before, and he knew when it was time to admit defeat.

So Jordan took a breath, carefully unbuttoned his pants, and pulled out his penis. The audience erupted, delighted to catch a front-row glimpse of the biggest penis in Newcastle.

It was a legendary penis in the North East England town, and its owner had become a quasi-celebrity because of it.

In his 20s, Jordan ate up the attention, showing off his super-sized schlong to whoever wanted to see it—and as rumors spread, his crowds ballooned.

But Jordan was now pushing 40, and the novelty of being a carnival attraction had long worn off. Desperate to get on with the night, he instinctively swung his big penis around like a piece of rope—the usual act—and stuffed it back into his briefs.

The show was over. Or so he thought. Whatever will shut him up. But as soon as he brought his prized possession back out, the groupie grabbed it.

Jordan fell down and sprinted home. Within 10 minutes, his whole shaft—base to tip—was black and bruised, as if it had been through battle.

Flabbergasted, Jordan flocked to Facebook to post about his crazy encounter. Ten thousand miles across the Atlantic, his friend Jonah Falcon —himself the owner of an abnormally big penis, reportedly the biggest in the world—was the first to comment.

Per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine , the average flaccid penis is somewhere between 3. Steixner says. Todd measures 10 inches erect, Jordan one-ups him by about an inch, and Falcon boasts a whopping Being famous for having a big penis sounds pretty great, and to be fair, all of the guys we interviewed for this story have used their good fortune to their sexual advantage.

Falcon, for example, became a fixture in the horny NYC underground club scene thanks to his hog. In my 20s, I was like a kid in a candy store.

Compare that number to how much you have to carry the burdens of it around, and the sexual ratio is quite the minority.

Take something as simple as riding a bike. I end up just sitting on the thing. If I want to go for a nice ride in the country, the pain distracts from the euphoria of the journey itself.

Using the restroom is an equally dicey proposition. As for other roadblocks in the bedroom, oral sex is often a nuisance. For Jordan, the threat of these clumsy conversations looms heavy in his head.

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